


Walker

by mamadeb



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-13
Updated: 2013-11-13
Packaged: 2018-01-01 08:45:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1042821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mamadeb/pseuds/mamadeb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam is leading a glamorous life, escorting wealthy divas around Los Angeles. Is it the right life for him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Walker

"Oh, I would _never_ forget a date with you, darling. Not the sexiest lady I know." Adam smiled at his phone, which made Danielle laugh, loud in the nearly empty cafe. Putting a finger to his lips, Adam went back to the phone call. "Now, tell me. What color gown are you wearing?" 

"That's why I'm calling, kid. I can't decide between the black one or the red. You tell me." The famous voice on the other end sounded actually lost. As if she hadn't been going to galas for years, with and without him. "I was on the wrong list last time, and that's just getting boring." 

"I'm your date gay, not your clothes gay. Of course you were on the wrong list. You dressed impeccably." He had to giggle. She'd raged about being on the best-dressed list for a week. "You're supposed to challenge the drag queens, not make it easy on them." 

"Fine. I'm wearing the red. Which shows everything I'm not supposed to. Fuck the lists. And listen, I know you want to match your tie and shit, but you're not going to do it. Wear black. Wear gold lame. Wear fucking crocodile again. Do _not _wear red. Or get me red flowers. This is not a prom." And there was the woman who still made the world take notice. Made doing this sort of thing worth it just so he could spend time with amazing ladies like her. God, this was a reason to love his life.__

__"Do I still wear a tuxedo?" He knew the answer, but he also knew how to play this game. She loved telling him what to do._ _

__"Fuck, yes. If I'm wearing a gown, you're not getting away with jeans or leather. You're not Bieber. Thank God for that, too. I can't stand him. Anyway, you love dressing up. But rock it out for me, okay? Eyes, nails, earrings - do the works for me, kid. I'll pick you up at six. Bye!"_ _

__Danielle took another bite of salad, her face carefully blank. "You networking tonight?"_ _

__"Rock for Books? _Everyone_ is going to be there, honey. I'm going make sure they know who I am." He tossed back his drink. "I better get back home. Got a date with a diva tonight, and I have to look beautiful. Just not too beautiful." He left some cash on the table - the last for the month. If his diva didn't give him a useful gift tonight, he'd be living on credit cards unless he got a real gig soon. And that didn't seem to be happening._ _

__———  
 _A year earlier__ _

__Scarlett slipped backstage at the tiny cabaret. "Oh my God, Adam! You _have_ to sing it tonight!" _ _

__He turned from the mirror, where he was styling his boring, boring brown hair. The only thing worse would be his natural color, but he was auditioning for _Wicked_ tomorrow, and he needed to not look out there, even if he was auditioning for the Land of Oz. A boy had to eat. "What's going on?"_ _

__" _She's_ here. She just walked in and sat down with her entourage. The guys are going nuts. You've been practicing her song for a week. You _have_ to sing it. Look!"_ _

__Oh, God. Adam dropped the flat iron and peeked around the curtain. There was the pop diva goddess of his adolescent dreams. "I can't. It's her song. It would be blasphemy. Besides it’s not ready yet. I don't have half the words memorized."_ _

__"Adam, baby. You sing that song perfectly. She will _love_ it. And you. It's entirely you and entirely respectful. You will regret it forever if you don't."_ _

__He peeked again. _She_ was laughing and holding what was probably a free drink. He could hear her over the sound of the crowd, rich and uninhibited. "You're right, doll. I can't let this go." _ _

__There was a cocktail on his dressing table but he passed it up for a sip of hot tea. The drink would only give him courage; the tea would make his voice the best it could be._ _

__They announced his name, and he walked out to scattered and absent applause. He was used to that. It was a dinner cabaret, so people were eating, not listening to some singer they never heard of. And this time, of course, they had someone claiming their attention. But she looked around the restaurant glaring at the patrons, condemning them for rudeness with her eyes, and applauded loudly._ _

__His heart felt like it was going to burst from his chest, and he _knew_ he was going to forget half the words, but he had to do this. Scarlett was right._ _

__Adam whispered in the ear of the piano player, who, eyes wide, nodded and fished out the appropriate sheet music while Adam perched on a stool in front. He took a deep breath to get himself centered. "Hi. I know this is going to sound a little cocky, but the lady who sings this song is gracing us with her presence and I hope she likes what I did with it."_ _

__He nodded time to the pianist, who played the first few notes, and then launched into his stripped down version of her famous piece. He filled the words with emotion, wailing where she'd moaned, and found himself standing at the end to give it the power it needed. The piano player followed his lead, adding more depth to the music. He finished to thunderous applause, but all he saw through the tears on his face was _her_ , standing there with a smile, nodding at him. He took a swig of the cocktail sitting on the piano, and went to the next song in his set._ _

__She stayed through the whole thing. And, following the custom of the cabaret threw her shoes at him at the end, along with all the others who liked what he did. Adam felt as though he’d won something._ _

__Then apparently the cabaret gave her special privileges, because she was standing by his dressing table, her hands on her hips. "Why the hell haven't I heard you before?"_ _

__"Um. I…" _Because no one will sign me to a label. Because I'm too out to go back into the closet. Because I don't look or act butch enough.__ _

__"I'm not dumb, kid. I know it's hard. But you got a voice in a million. How big is your range, anyway? Because you were singing in a higher key than I can reach." She snapped her fingers, and one of her entourage brought her a drink._ _

__That question he could answer. "I can go higher. And down to baritone, too. I stopped training a couple years ago, but I think I'm getting more lower register."_ _

__"Voice in a million." She closed her eyes. "And trained. And you're singing in this shitty cabaret. Why not clubs? Why not demos? Why not a band?"_ _

__He told her. He told her about his old love for the stage, and the plays and operas he did. He told her about Citizen Vein and songwriting - she smiled at that one - and the demo album where he just sang as he was told. And how he had to eat and pay rent and buy shoes._ _

__"Let me hear a song you wrote. Just a line or two."_ _

__"Now?"_ _

__"Now, kid."_ _

__He sang the chorus of "Aftermath." She rolled her eyes. "Okay, it’s a pretty song with a good message. But pretty isn't enough. You know that, since you're pretty, too." Adam shook his head. He wasn't pretty. Not with his skin and soft middle and boring hair. "Yeah, you are. And you're sweet. Which are both good things we don’t want to change. But we can…listen to me. Like I can do anything." She finished the drink._ _

__"I'm honored you spoke with me at all." Adam finally was able to say that, after he monopolized her time with his sad life story. He was sure she had better places to go._ _

__"Where do you come from? Marky!" She gestured to one of her people. "Marky! When's my next thing?"_ _

__A skinny guy walked up with an old-fashioned appointment book. "You have that benefit on Thursday. The one with you know who performing."_ _

__"Oh, yeah. Do I have a date?"_ _

__"You have not chosen your plus-one for that evening." Marky _(Marky? Really?)_ smirked at her.   
She snapped at Adam, "Kid! Do you have a tux?"_ _

__"What?" Adam stared. _What was she talking about?__ _

__"It's a simple question. Do you have a fucking tuxedo?"_ _

__He nodded. Not that it was designer or even this decade, but he did have one. "Why?"_ _

__"Because you're escorting me to that benefit on Thursday. If you have anything else, cancel it. If you're seeing your boyfriend, tell him you'll see him later. Give Marky your address, and I'll pick you up."_ _

__"But…" _This was all happening way too fast. It felt surreal.__ _

__"Look, it's win-win. I get to go to this thing with a fucking gorgeous young guy, and you get to network. Plus you got a head on your shoulders, which means I probably won't be bored. All the big shits are there. You need this, kid, and I need to not be bored. Deal?"_ _

__"Deal.” He grinned. “Don’t worry about the boyfriend thing. I’m single right now.”_ _

__"That's because men are assholes. Hell, maybe we'll get you one of those, too. Half the men I know are in the fucking closet. About time they came out. See you Thursday." And she swept out, leaving Adam to give his address to Marky and stare at her wake. No one was going to believe it._ _

__Fuck. He needed to see if his tux was wearable or if someone had one he could borrow._ _

__———_ _

__Laughing and giddy, they collapsed in her limo after the benefit. She poked Adam in the ribs. "YOU were the best idea I've had in decades, and believe me I have the decades to prove it."_ _

__"I had such a good time. I think I met everyone in Hollywood." He pulled off his bowtie and stuffed it in his jacket pocket. Leather had been the right choice for that crowd, even if he’d had to cut up an old scarf to make it and the cummerbund. Besides, it matched his boots and nail polish._ _

__She loved the nail polish. "Next time, don't take off the eye-liner." He blinked. "You think I wouldn't notice?"_ _

__"Next time?" He had heard _next time.__ _

__"I have to go to these fucking things more often than I want to think about, okay? I liked having a sweet young thing on my arm, and I loved watching you work the room. It was so nice seeing someone with real ambition and willing to do what it took. We'll make this a thing, kid. If you want."_ _

__Did he want? He got to go to an amazing red carpet event, and to network with everyone and he was with _her._ Okay, no one was taking _his_ pictures for _People Magazine_ , but at least he was _there._ _ _

__"I had fun tonight." He smiled. She smiled back and handed him a drink for the trip back to his apartment. It was only midnight - plenty of time to go out. He just needed to change his clothes and put on his face._ _

__———_ _

__He wasn't surprised a week later when she called him for another benefit. Then she told him to go to the Alexander McQueen store on Melrose to meet Marky._ _

__"I have a tux. You thought I looked good in it." She kept telling him how nicely he'd cleaned up._ _

__"You looked good, kid, but you could look fucking amazing, and that shitty old suit won't do it. "_ _

__He didn't want to say this, but she didn't leave him any choice. "I can't afford a new tux. I can barely afford food and rent right now." He hated saying those words, but she'd been a starving artist at one point. She'd understand._ _

__"It's a gift, Adam. I need you to look so good, all the other bitches and queens will shit their pants. Don't look a gift McQueen in the crotch, okay?"_ _

__If she put it that way…_ _

__Shopping for the tuxedo was a lot of fun. Marky had a tongue like a razor and knew his fashion inside and out, and wouldn't let Adam even look at the classic styles. "Honey, you can work them, but a butch queen like you needs to be on the bleeding edge. We don't want you boring, do we?"_ _

__McQueen didn't do for Marky's taste, and Adam couldn't find anything he liked at Armani. But then black car let them off on Rodeo Drive right in front of Lanvin, they strolled in and Adam was in heaven. The suit made him look ten pounds lighter, and he and Marky went crazy over the accessories until he was styled like a rock star. "She wants you to look the part, honey, and we're going to do it."_ _

__Adam firmly believed that more was more, so he just took it in. He decided to think of it as a costume, which was up to her to provide. Which meant he was playing dress-up, which made it all even better. So did getting the suit tailored to him, which made him look even thinner and feel like he had actual money._ _

__It also made his brown hair look even more boring, so just before the event, he got some spray dye and turned it blue and black for the night. It went with his black eyeliner._ _

__She liked it. All of it. She insisted the paps take a picture with him on her arm. Then she made sure all the other divas at the benefit - ladies he'd worshiped as much as he did her - saw him with her._ _

__He loved it. He didn't get a chance to network with the bosses that night, but he got _seen_ and that was all good. _ _

__Plus, later that night at the clubs, _all_ the pretty boys loved his hair, so there was that, too. He must have made out with half the twinks before finding one to take home with him._ _

__Next day, he was back to dull brown hair, back to auditions and being thanked for showing up, back to singing at the cabaret and wondering how he'd finish the month. At least he'd been A-list, or A-list adjacent, for one night. He didn't even mind that he'd been cropped out of the gossip site pictures._ _

__That's how it went. Adam got a few gigs here and there, he did a few weeks working retail again and he got rejected by directors more often than not. But every once in a while, he had a legendary lady on his arm at an event where he was one of the youngest men in the room who wasn't actually _paid_ to be there. He regarded these nights as surreal little holidays from real life._ _

__Until he got the phone call that changed everything._ _

__He didn't recognize the number on his phone, but he'd just had an audition that seemed to go well. Maybe it was an actual call-back._ _

__"Hello?"_ _

__"Is this Adam Lambert?" The unfamiliar woman's voice sounded like she was reading his name._ _

__"Speaking. Who are you and how did you get this number?"_ _

__"My name is Rebecca. My employer got it from a friend of yours. I work for..." She named another diva, one Adam had also worshiped forever._ _

__"Is there a reason she asked you to call?" This was decidedly weird. Weirder than Adam liked._ _

__"My employer has found herself without an escort for a small affair two days from now. She knows this is short notice, but if you can make yourself available, she would be very grateful. She's seen you with her friend and she has every confidence you'd be ideal for the situation."_ _

__Adam knew he had nothing planned that night, and this lady would surely introduce him to a whole other crowd. It still felt very weird, but how could he possibly refuse._ _

__"I believe I am available. What would the dress code be?" _That sound so businesslike, Adam. This feels so wrong.__ _

__"Thank you, Mr. Lambert. That is a huge relief. Semi-formal. Suit and tie, no tuxedo, and nothing too business-like. Rock it up."_ _

__"I can do that. Tell her I'd be honored."_ _

__So, two nights later, a happily married rock singer picked him up at his door and took him to an entirely different crowd from a different generation, with people he HAD to meet._ _

__The next week, an actress he'd admired for years contacted him. And then the well-known daughter of a legendary singer asked him to escort her to a dinner honoring her father. He couldn't turn them down, although they cut into his gig time. He even had to buy another formal suit and get his old one tailored, all with money he did not have._ _

__He got to the point he had to decide between rent and electricity. Food wasn't an issue because at least his "dates" always meant dinner. He even had to stop clubbing afterwards because he couldn't afford the cover charge._ _

__Finally, he had to tell "his" diva about his financial situation, and turn her down for an evening. "I _can't._ I'm sorry, but I have a gig and I need the cash. Your friends are _amazing_. I worship them. But these dates won't keep the lights on."_ _

__"Why didn't you tell me you were having problems, kid? Just tell me what you need, okay? Marky!"_ _

__"I can take care of myself. I'm a grown man and I've been taking care of myself for a while." Well, mostly, with some help from his parents. But they were his parents, not some sugar mama._ _

__"Oh, don't give me that, Adam. I've been there. I remember making hard choices, and you don't have to. I'm your fucking friend, and I'm going help you as a friend."_ _

__"Even if I never date you again?" He hated saying that, but he had to know. "I made a promise about the gig, and I can't break it."_ _

__She just laughed. "Kid, if you're a whore, you're the worst one ever. I'm not paying you for services not rendered - I'm just scraping the change out of the bottom of my purse, okay? Tell Marky what you need, and he'll take care of it. And don't fucking get into that mess again, okay?"_ _

__Marky was completely matter-of-fact about it, which helped. And he asked where the gig was, too. Not that she actually showed up._ _

__Adam didn't feel good about taking the money, but even that gig only postponed shut-down, and he was faced with dying his hair with drug store dye, which was just not going to happen if he could help it._ _

__A week later, as he was dropped off by the 80s TV actress, she pressed a box into his hands. "I never want you to feel you need to choose, darling." She sped off before he could say anything._ _

__There was a Visa gift card inside the little box. When he checked it out on his computer, it held more money than he could spend in a week. He stared at it for a long, long time before tucking it into his wallet, resolving to not use it unless he had no choice._ _

__The next day his face broke out worse than ever and that gift card gave him enough cash to pay the dermatologist _and_ buy the prescription he needed._ _

___She_ must have told the others, because they all started giving him gifts. He got more of those cards, and notices of charge accounts at stores he otherwise couldn't afford to walk into. _ _

__It got easier to take. Or so he told himself._ _

__He never turned down a date again, either, so it helped he could buy better and more clothes and jewelry. He figured at least he could make a good impression on the executives he met. He wasn't happy that he had to skip Burning Man, but he had other things he had to do._ _

__———_ _

__"It's Mom's birthday, Ad. You have to go." Neil sounded annoyed, but Neil always sounded that way._ _

__"I'm busy. I can't." Adam checked and rechecked the date on his new iPhone, a present from a 70s musical icon. "I really can't." He couldn't take the time to visit San Francisco. Not with his schedule._ _

__"You haven't seen either of the folks in months. You haven't even called them in months. You're the good son, remember? The one who pays attention. I'm the one who forgets. Ad, I don't want to be the good son."_ _

__"Neither do I! I had 27 years of it. Now I'm finding a life and it's your turn, okay?" Adam cringed at his own voice. What the hell was wrong with him, neglecting his parents? It wasn't like he needed to ask them for money. "I'm sorry, Neil. I'll give Mom a call tomorrow and we'll work something out."_ _

__"Okay. Hey, you been working lately? I haven't heard anything from the grapevine."_ _

__"I'm not starving. I can tell you that." Why did he feel like he was lying? Other than that he was watching calories tightly, since he couldn't afford to gain any weight._ _

__"That's not what I asked. Is there something wrong?" Oh, hell. Neil sounded actually concerned._ _

__"I am _fine_. You just keep your head in your books, okay?" And that was not what Adam wanted to say. What the hell was wrong with him?_ _

__"Okay, okay. Teach me to care about my big brother." And the phone went dead. That hurt. The last thing he wanted to do was push away Neil just when they could actually talk to each other without fighting._ _

__Adam shook the conversation out of his head. He had a party to dress up for tonight, and _this_ lady expected sparkle. No way could he sparkle with Neil's voice in his ears._ _

__It _had_ been a minute since his last audition, though. Maybe he should call his agent. If his agent was still talking to him. And if he could find a spare moment.   
———_ _

__Having lunch with Danielle felt like a gift. She didn't nag him about auditions like everyone else, and she let him gossip about the ladies all through the meal. Even so, she looked at him funny when he dashed out to get his hair and nails done for the benefit that night. No, not funny - she looked at him sadly. Which made something inside him hurt._ _

__When _she_ picked him up, in a red dress that would have been too much for a woman one-third her age who wasn't her, she handed him a pale blue box wrapped with a ribbon. He gave her a kiss on the cheek before opening it. _ _

__It was a watch. A white gold and diamond watch that sparkled in the streetlights. It was gorgeous. It was amazing. It was…a watch. Which was not just far too expensive, but was also something he never wore._ _

__"Turn it over." She grinned._ _

__She'd had it engraved. Glitter for my favorite boy. Happy Anniversary!_ _

__"Anniversary? Has it been a year?"_ _

__"To the day, kid."_ _

__"I didn't get you anything." He slid the watch onto his wrist. It fit but felt very heavy._ _

__She laughed. "That's not how it works, Adam. I'm supposed to shower you with gifts. Your job is to look pretty on my arm." She pecked him on the cheek. "And network so that voice of yours can be heard."_ _

__She kept saying that, but he couldn't help thinking about the past year and all the "networking" he'd done, and how useless it had been._ _

__He hadn't performed in public in months. He barely sang even at home. None of the executives had offered him anything but a date with their wives. He looked at the legend sitting next to him in the back seat of the limousine, and bit his lip. He didn't know if he even had a choice anymore - if this was the way his life was going to go until he was too old to be pretty on someone's arm. If they all just thought of him as a safe paid escort. A _walker_._ _

__He let the diamonds in his new watch reflect onto the top of the car._ _

__———_ _

__He had no money in the bank. He had no upcoming gigs or even auditions. His family and friends were barely talking to him anymore._ _

__He hated himself. And he was frankly scared because he had no safety net. If he jumped now, he could crash very hard, but if he didn't, it would be worse. He'd lose himself. And that thought made it all very clear._ _

__He picked up his phone and called _her._ _ _

__"Yeah, kid? Something up?"_ _

__Adam took a deep breath. _Do it now._ "It's about our date. Actually, about our dates. I have to tell you something."_ _

__"Okay. I'm listening."_ _

__"I can't do them anymore. I mean, I _love_ spending time with you, and the others, and the places we go and the people we meet, and oh, God, the clothes. It's all been fabulous. But I can't anymore." God, his mouth was dry. This was worse than any audition._ _

__"What's wrong? You need money? Or are people getting on your case?" She sounded angry, but it didn't feel directed at _him.__ _

__"I'm getting on my case. Look at me. My real career doesn't exist anymore." He told her everything. "So you see, I can't do it anymore. I'm supposed to be an entertainer, not just hang around them. I only hope it's not too late."_ _

__To his surprise, she was cool about it. "You gotta do what you gotta do. Just keep in touch, kid, okay? And if I can put in a good word, let me know." She refused to take back the watch or any of the other presents. "At least you have something to pawn now."_ _

__In two weeks, he'd told his other ladies goodbye. Some understood, some were upset. One or two tried to bribe him to stay kept, but he wasn't even tempted. He'd made his decision and that was it._ _

__As if the universe approved, a week before he would have had to pawn the watch, or some other piece, he got a call from a studio looking for a session singer. It wouldn't pay much, but "not much" was better than nothing, and at least it was for the studio, not for a producer. Plus it paid the rent. That along with going back to the cabaret kept him afloat. It wasn't like he needed new dress-up clothes._ _

__He didn't often get a chance to decide how to sing a song. When he wasn't doing background, he was following the directions of the songwriter. It was almost as bad as performing the same thing the same way every night. But sometimes he was told to sing the way he felt. Sometimes he could just rock out, and see the songwriter smile at him, and that fed his soul._ _

__The best was when he got to work with the songwriters, collaborating on music in a way that felt like it came from his heart, so when he sang those songs, they were _his_. _ _

__Even better, one or two of those songs sold to some kid who won on American Idol. Then there were royalties, and he got more songwriting gigs._ _

__Which meant the big label called after hearing him sing on his own demo, and they wanted to talk to him about more than songwriting._ _

__"I know you." The A &R guy looked at him in confusion. "I've seen you before. You were at this benefit with…" He frowned. "Some old diva, right?"_ _

__Adam nodded. "Yeah. I remember you. We talked about your latest act, I think."_ _

__"Yeah. You said some smart things." He shrugged. "Was that all you on that demo? No playing around with your voice? No gimmicks?"_ _

__"Yes. It's all me, with my cowriter on background." One take, too._ _

__"You've got a powerhouse voice, which I think you know. We need a guy like that." He took a breath. "You're very smart. You're good looking. You have a definite sense of style. Would you be willing to go back in the closet?"_ _

__Adam shook his head. "Even if I wanted to, I can't seem to fool anyone. And I _don't_ want to."_ _

__"I'd be an idiot to pass up that voice." He stood up. "I don't guarantee anything, Adam, but I want to take this chance. Want to make some history?" He held out his hand._ _

__Adam took it._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my wonderful beta, Leela, who saw me through my first story in years. I got the idea for this story after a week when several legendary ladies were as excited over meeting him as any of his fans.


End file.
